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I hate to admit this. I hate to show this to anyone. I hate saying this to myself. I hate telling anyone about this. I hate not being able to tell anyone about this, because no one knows about this.

I just complete HATE this!!!

I hate this feeling, the feeling that I MISS YOU.

I miss listening to the sound of your voice in the middle of the night. I miss seeing your name on top of my recent sent messages or inbox. I miss seing your name in my call log. I miss hearing your special ringtone. I miss our long talks, our funny little jokes and our RC arguments. I miss how you get mad easily in RC. How you get so competitive when it comes to my RC and your RC. I miss seing your cute face in the webcam, how cute and mysterious you look. I miss seing you smile when I do or say something stupid. As it's the only time, I see your face smile :)

I miss hearing your voice! I miss how you don't believe me, when I say something. I miss hearing your line, 'ye ye ye' or 'really? I miss your texts. I miss getting your texts at one o'clock pm saying you just woke up, even though I know you were online in facebook at 10 am. :)))

I miss having our long ym chats.

But most of all, I miss not being able to call you mine & I miss the fact I was able to share you with anyone :(

*Sigh*

Sigh

Here we go again

The time has come again, where I have to limit it. I have abuse it for some time now & I need to control it.

What is it? you asked? It's..none other than..

Diet

I hate thinking about dieting. There's nothing else in the world which makes me more happy than food. So the thought of cutting back on food means a very very dark WORLD.

Sigh

Hide and Seek >.<

I thought I was good at hiding things, my feelings, my thoughts, my actions, but I guess not. I just learnt that they can read me like a book. I don't know if this is a good thing or not. Maybe it is, atleast they know me. Except, the fact is that they say I pretend. That I don't show my true self. I may be 'bi-polar' or two personalities. I don't do this purposely, it's just the way I am when other people are there, other than my family.

Now, this made me realised that I should open up my true self to them :(

Where di I begin? Can i really show myself to them. I'm scared, i'm scared they're gonna think differently of me. I'm scared things will be different. I'm scared , (PERIOD).

But today i found out that they're not like that, they'll stick by you. Be there for you, which is really good.

And I'm very THANKFULL!

this kinda woke me up and snapped the idea out of my head that I can let other people let me in. I don't need to pretend.

Someone told me that I need to show them my other side when I'm with my sister. I need to show them my real side.

The REAL me.

*sigh*

I don't know where to start: I don't know how to start showing my real self. I don't know what to show, what things are that need to be shown or others things which no need to share.

I just don't know.

But starting from now on, I'm going to try. Not gonna pick out things which side of me, they see. I'm not gonna think about it. Just what I feel, I show. I hope!

What things to show:

1. They're gonna see more of my mean side, when something pisses me off.

2. I'm gonna speak my mind.

3. Saputon ba ako. Pero kapag kasama ko sila, wala patient kaau. Which weird kaau.

4. Ipapalabas ko ang anger ko, sabi nila dapat ilabas. So [SORRY] ahead kung sakanila ako mag labas init ulo. LOLS

Anyway, thats all I can think of at this moment. We'll be writing more in the future, when i think of more things.